Kaveman's Musings Episode 2

Welcome to Episode 2!

I’m going to go a little more into what has been motivating me to do this, and then pivot into interviews on how we can start to fix things.  We can’t fix everything, but there are things that we can do other than complain and give our opinions online.  

I want to know how things work so that we can fix them.  That’s one thing my dad told me, is that as a kid I was curious and always wanted to know how things worked.  As I grew up, I got scared of breaking things, because it felt like the only things around me were breaking or broken.  Relationships, vehicles, society, dreams.  My parents split up when I was 14, and the 2 things I wanted to do more than anything else were experience combat, and get married, if for no other reason than to show my parents how things worked.  So, I’m an idealist and sometimes I need to think things through a little bit better than I do.  But the good thing is that I love learning.

The problems we’re facing are all stacked haphazardly on the rotten moral foundation of our country.  Abortion for ‘convenience’, how we handle mental health concerns, how we handle mental health treatment.  In the last 40 years, we’ve reduced mental health capacity by 95%, which keeps people who need the help from getting it.

We have some major issues with our education system right now, and the government has been trying to take actions against parents for speaking up about it.  We have big social problems that have been boiling over for decades that have very high fiscal and societal costs.  We have wanton violence that gets blamed on inanimate objects (unless they can demonize a group of people).

To say that things aren’t going well in America today would be an understatement.  We have huge economic problems that everyone is feeling will likely be around for a few years, and unfortunately, might depend on future elections.  It sucks to think that we’re screwed until we get a new president, but we’re ideologically divided as a nation.  This administration wants the ‘great reset’, and it’s not a conspiracy.  They don’t care how many eggs get broken, as long as they get the result they want.  We want scrambled eggs, they don’t care if they get a pile of fecal matter, as long as it’s controlled by the government.  

Inflation. Recession.  They’re some pretty heavy words right now.  Depression might start being thrown around, if things get bad enough.  The annual inflation is about 8.6%, and that doesn’t tell the whole story.  Things that I bought from Walmart 2 months ago are up 50 cents an item, that’s 12.5% in 2 months.  

From last year:
* ground beef is up 70-80 cents per pound from last year (20%)
* pork is actually only up a little, 20 cents a pound for most things.  Bacon’s up about a dollar a pound from last year (15%)
* eggs are up $1.20 per dozen over last year (almost doubling)
* Chicken breasts are up almost a dollar a pound from last year
* Milk is up 80 cents a gallon
* cheese is up a quarter to 50 cents a pound (and like a dollar for a half pound of Kraft)

The first week of June, the average price of gas went up 44 cents per gallon… in one week.  And it’s gone up 10-20 cents per gallon in the 2 weeks since then.  Overall, gas prices are up 80 cents since the beginning of May, 6 weeks ago.  That doesn’t just hurt you when you go to fill up your gas tank.  That effects the price of every good we buy that’s shipped across the country.

We have a roadmap we could take to ease these problems, at least economically.  The early 80s were a big turnaround, because economic sanity returned.  Just with gas, there are plenty of people who are giving us economic roadmaps to lower gas prices, no matter what Russia does.

Lowering gas prices won’t solve monetary inflation, but it would significantly stem the inflation of goods delivered by trucks, which are most things.  Getting rid of DEF for vehicles might also lower costs, and it would keep trucks on the road.

The next video, I’m going to do a deeper dive on oil, gas production, and why environmentalists don’t have a clue about why they really don’t want to get rid of drilling for oil.

China bought Smithfield in 2013, one of the largest pork producers in the US.  This week, they shut down a plant in California because ‘costs were too high’.  Just 3 months ago, in March, they were reporting that profits were up 7%, to $1 billion, and that revenues were up almost 7%, to $27.29 billion.  So, either it’s a problem with Californa’s insanity driving out another business, or China just deciding that they’d like to exacerbate food problems in the US, and abroad.

Kaveman's Musings, Episode 1 (June 8th 2022)

Hello, welcome to “Kaveman’s Musings”, episode 1 My name is Keenan Webb, and I’m your dashing host!  (This is a video podcast I'm doing, and I'll post the rough draft of the manuscript for the videos here, and will try to include the links of the research I've done here).

Today is June 6th, 78 years since the D-Day invasion, to take back Europe from the Nazis.  Yesterday, June 5th, was the 33rd anniversary of ‘tank man’ stepping in front of chinese tanks, to try and dissuade them from massacring protesting students in Tiananmen Square, in China.

JUne 4th was the 18th anniversary of the “Killdozer”, and  Marvin Heemeyer’s rampage through the town of Granby, Colorado to protest a zoning commission who wiped out his business, and would not listen to reason.  “I was always willing to be reasonable until I had to be unreasonable. Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things.”

So, with all of those things happening, and the current state of the country in 2022, I figure it’s time to do something I’ve wanted to do for a while now, and start my podcast.  I’m a 37-year old bachelor, who hasn’t quite given up hope that I’ll find an amazing wife, and we’ll have a large, beautiful family.  I’m remodeling my house, ever so slowly, I’ve had my current job for more than 13 years, rotating shifts and all.

I picked the name, “A kaveman’s musings”, partially because one of my best friend’s dads gave me the nickname, “caveman”, with a c.  And because I’m Keenan, I changed it to start with a “K”, and it’s a moniker I’ve kept since then.  Another reason is because I have 2% neanderthal DNA,which my friends have teased me about, since I guess that’s high.  I’m also usually pretty blunt, and I don’t like beating around the bush.  And finally, it’s because I think we rely too much on ‘credentials’, on ‘experts’, on ‘the swamp’, as Trump called it, otherwise known as the establishment.  I don’t think all bureaucracy is evil, but sometimes it’s a necessary evil, and it usually screws things up. 

I don’t think we need to rely on experts and crazy solutions, that are usually just clever ways to give the government more power.  I think things can generally be explained simply enough for the common person to understand, and common sense, as rare as it may be, can be used to fix most of the things that ail our society, culture, people, and country.

I am a Christian, so everything flows from my Christian worldview.  It’s hard to consider myself a ‘conservative’, because I don’t know which of the rotten pillars of our government I’d actually want to conserve.  So, I consider myself an ‘idealist’, what is the ideal way for our country to work, to get along, to improve things.

If you guys are interested, I can do short shows on each of the events that I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, and I will be talking out the latest absurdities from our government, how to actually keep kids safe in school.  I might try to have guests, and I will always want to have rational, polite conversations if people disagree with me. (Yes, even though I understand how toxic Youtube’s comment section can be).  I look forward to growing an audience on youtube and Rumble, and I might even create a Twitter handle again (I was formerly “A Conservatarian” to help with promotions!

Thanks for watching,
Kaveman out

BLM Gestapo still seeking scalps

So, in light of what Del Rio said this past week, it's clear that those who think they have all moral authority, can't let anyone question the narratives.

If I was Del Rio, I'd want to quit.  I wouldn't want to coach under Ron Rivera if I thought the $100k fine was all his doing.  If we as Americans can't have honest conversations, we are not free.  Dissenting opinions are also known as "diversity"; It's not just an issue of skin color or reproductive organs.

The blm riots caused billions of dollars of damage, and quite a bit against federal government buildings.  Democrats across the country refused to defend federal buildings and refused help from Trump.

If the people participating in the blm riots in 2020 had the restraint of the January 6th protestors, no one would still be talking about them.  Hundreds of private businesses wouldn't have been robbed or burned to the ground.  Police stations wouldn't have burned to the ground, federal buildings in the Northwest would've have been under siege every night for over 100 nights.  Kyle Rittenhouse wouldn't have shot three white men who took the time to attack him between "peaceful protests".

If the people at the Capitol, other than a few agitators, behaved like blm rioters, we wouldn't have a Capitol building anymore.  It would have burned to the ground and thousands would have died, including politicians.  Then it would actually deserve the attention it's getting.

That's the difference.

Just like in cities across the country in 2020, Democrats refused the help that Trump was trying to offer before January 6th.  How come?  

Sanctions and the curious case against General Flynn

In today's show, Dan hit really hard on the fact that the Obama administration said that Flynn talked about sanctions with Russia on the phone during the transition period.  About the 10th time he said it, something clicked for me.  This wasn’t the only time they’ve used ‘sanctions’ in some way or another to set up the Trump team.

Prong number one of the conspiracy set up is COLLUSION, “starting with” the Papadopoulos/Downer meeting.  Supposedly, Papa-D brings up “Russians have dirt on Hillary”.  And he gets the honey pot treatment with “Putin’s niece”, and the FBI is spying on him for some reason way before they have a case open on him.

The use of SANCTIONS in the second prong (not necessarily in chronological order) of the conspiracy to set up the Trump campaign goes back to the Steele dossier, and their first failed attempt at a FISA on Carter Page, and the Trump Tower meeting.  

The famed “Trump Tower meeting” Happened on June 9th, 2016.  It used both prongs of the set up. They used emails to set the meeting up, and mention Russian government officials wanting to help Trump and saying that they have dirt on Hillary; COLLUSION.  This falls in line with media/DNC conspiracy theory fake news story one, that Russians hack Trump’s opponents and want to help Trump win.  Conspiracy theory two also happens during the meeting.  They had nothing on Hillary, but bring up SANCTIONS with the Magnitsky Act and Americans adopting Russian kids.  I can’t think of an earlier time that sanctions were used as a weapon against the Trump campaign.

The “Steele dossier” 2016-094 (19 July) says that Carter Page should convince Trump to lift SANCTIONS against Russia about their incursion into Ukraine, and they could work together on energy projects.  It also mentions that they had ‘kompromat’ on Hillary and could help Trump out, COLLUSION.  Neither of those things are a crime for a FISA, so they had to change the story in dossier later.

In dossier 2016-101 (10 August), the bring up Flynn, finally, in a list of targets from the Russian government to work with along with Carter Page; COLLUSION.

In dossier 2016-134 (18 October), they finally change the Page story to include the crime needed for a FISA.  They say that Page would be paid a multi-billion dollar bribe for lifted SANCTIONS on Russia.  They also name drop Cohen again, as an important figure in COLLUSION, and drip info about ‘Russian connected’ family members of the Trump campaign, insinuating allegiances to Russia.

In dossier 2016-136 (and apparently 135) (20 October), the bring up Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer, in a meeting in Prague to meet with Russians back in August; COLLUSION.  Problem is, a different Michael Cohen was the one in Europe, not Trump’s lawyer.  Manafort was also mentioned, as dead weight to the whole enterprise.

In dossier 2016-166 (13 December), they reference the August meetings with Cohen, again, COLLUSION.  They say that the meetings have been taking place since March, and that Cohen was the main guy under Trump dealing with the hacking program.  They first mention the “Romanian Hackers”, and claim that they’re headed for Bulgaria to hide.

Shifting to Flynn, they’re spying on his phone calls, trying to get him as part of Crossfire Hurricane.  They claim he talked SANCTIONS with Kislyak, pointing to the call on December 29th, and that he’d lied about that to both the FBI and Pence in January.  The Logan Act has never been successfully prosecuted, and even if he had discussed sanctions, his job as NS Advisor for Trump was a legit function for discussing almost anything.

It was just a continuation of  the two-pronged attack against Trump, collusion for the politicization and election swaying that was publicly revealed, and the fake bribes and more for sanctions, to legally harass the Trump team behind the scenes, and to keep spying on them. 

They couldn't keep up the fake collusion narrative about the Trump campaign and Russia with Flynn being Trump's National Security Advisor.  He'd gotten a letter from the British government saying that Steele's "reporting" was baloney.  That HAD to lead to questions about what was going on. He'd been the DNI under Obama, he knew how the whole system worked, and he'd have uncovered it 3 years ago, if they hadn't targeted him for removal.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.


I watched the towers fall in school.  It was hard concentrating the rest of the day, football practice was short, and I remember the lines at the gas station.  I'm sorry, we failed to protect you.

I had decided a few years before that I wanted to experience combat, so I wasn't reacting in hatred of anyone.  I enlisted 15 months later, during a war.  I'm sorry, nothing could change my mind.

I was excited when we were told that we were deploying, it was a dream come true.  I had to finish that semester, and stayed around the college working all summer.  I'm sorry I didn't come home.

I hurt myself in training, just rolling around with a guy.  I'm going to miss deploying for this???  I can walk, I can jog, I'm fine.  I'm too close to leave, not over this.  I'm sorry, I wasn't missing this.

I got to Iraq, and we started getting to work.  It was easy to .  I didn't call much, and I didn't email many details.  I'm sorry I lied when I did.

I always looked forward to the packages from home. The big box of sunflower seeds, the decks of cards, the golf balls, the trays of rice krispies and the random gifts I got for my hooch.  I'm sorry I didn't say thanks.

The news that we'd lost a guy hit us hard.  The second loss hit us harder.  Neither one was in my platoon, both had families.  I'm sorry I didn't know you guys better.

"You'd better get your head down, this area's been hot the past week".  Seconds later, I heard and felt the explosion two trucks back.  "We're gonna have to stop, he's veering off the road and not correcting it", I said.  I'm sorry I didn't see it before it went off.

I never thanked our leadership, for all their hard work.  They kept us safe, kept us alive, brought us back home.  I'm sorry I didn't appreciate everything you did.

I'm still not telling you things, there are things that I'm keeping inside because you won't understand them.  I'm sorry I can't explain things.


________________________________________________________



I was listening to Jocko podcast #42 and thought about this.  About the way that we go to war and don't communicate as much as our families want.  We lie to our families so that they can live normal lives back home without worrying about us.

When we're overseas, we're intentionally ignoring our families in some instances. There are things we can't say to keep ourselves safe, that we can't say because we can't explain it, and that we can't say because we're just not thinking about it.  We don't want to worry our families (even though going silent really doesn't help), and we've got to stay focused on what's over there with us.  That's how we come home.

I've got to thank "Spider Mike".  He wanted us all to come home, and our section all made it.  I don't remember ever thanking him specifically for that, I didn't anways understand why he was doing the things that he was, but there are a few times that stick out to me that show me just how much he cared about his guys (and gals). So thank you, Sarge, and the rest of the leadership that kept the vehicles moving and our morale high.  

Borders Aren't Racist Part 3: Who Gets Released And When?

Part 2 here.

In July 2015, a court the determination that 'all kids have the right to be released' was decided. In August, it was confirmed.  The 9th circuit court has been used by illegal immigration proponents for this entire mess.  The idea that a district court can control any nationwide policy on immigration is becoming a problem, and leftists will use that to their advantage until that 'magnet' is also shut off.

"Plaintiffs argue that Defendants’ no-release policy—i.e., the policy of detaining all female-headed families, including children, for as long as it takes to determine whether they are entitled to remain in the United States—violates material provisions of the [Flores] Agreement. "

"As a threshold matter, the parties dispute whether minors who are apprehended as part of a female-headed family are class members covered by the Agreement. The plain language of the Agreement clearly encompasses accompanied minors. First and most importantly, the Agreement defines the class as the following: “All minors who are detained in the legal custody of the INS.” "

"(i) Juveniles may be released to a relative (brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or grandparent) not in Service detention who is willing to sponsor a minor and the minor may be released to that relative notwithstanding that the juvenile has a relative who is in detention. (ii) If a relative who is not in detention cannot be located to sponsor the minor, the minor may be released with an accompanying relative who is in detention."

(ICE actions to detain kids indefinitely without telling their relatives where they were, indefinite detentions and releasing male adults into unfamiliar areas [ATEP] was occurring during the Obama administration), but the media has a problem reporting anything negative during Democrat administrations and blowing up the same issues during Republican administrations.  Remember those "kids in cages" stories?  It's just hypocrisy and Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Why are families split up?

In addition to the Flores Consent Agreement mandating that unaccompanied minors and adults are not kept together, this 2015 court order mandates that kids are held to the same standard and move it one step forward.  They're not just to be "placed" in the least restrictive facility, they're to be released if at all possible.  Also, mother-led families are to be released ASAP.  When that news got out, familial immigration took a large turn upwards.  Trump's tough talk only works so much to deter immigration.  When Democrats refuse to do anything on immigration and the courts keep giving de facto amnesty to children and mother-led families who are detained, tough talk becomes meaningless.

Jeff Sessions' April 2018 'zero tolerance memo' adds another layer of separation between children (who would be deemed innocent), and the adults that have brought them (who would now actually be charged).  The adults are being held and prosecuted criminally for breaking our laws.  This is being done, in part, because of even more past litigation which says that expedited deportation hearings might be unfair, so charging them with a crime is a 'paper trail' of sorts for future expedited deportations.

Some other aspects of this include the problems with chain migration (why parents send unaccompanied kids to America expecting them citizenship from DACA, which will in turn grant them citizenship via chain migration).

Because of the 2015 Ruling, the Obama administration, a proponent of amnesty, decided that they would just release everyone they caught, trusting that they'd show up to their mandated immigration hearings.  In 2015, estimates say that there were 550,000 illegal immigrants who entered the country.  In addition, there were about 13,000 immigration hearings, and 85% of that number (a little over 11,000 immigrants) actually showed up for their hearing.  According to ICE, 235,000 people were deported.

So in 2015, only about 2% of the illegal immigrant population for 2015 got hearings, and 85% of that approximately 2% showed up for their hearings, and that's supposed to be a good number.  That's insanely low.  We're using a coffee filter to plug the gaps in the dam, and it's working about as well as you'd expect.

Yes, I want to bang my head against the wall.  Only CONGRESS can fix this.  Only Congress has the authority to fix the holes in current immigration policy, as well as shut off the magnets and actually get both immigrants AND government agencies some relief.  Trump's executive order was denied by the 9th Circuit, just like he said it would.  Apparently the judge that's been working the case the last few years thinks that a 10,000% increase in immigration doesn't change anything.  It has  become the crisis that Trump said it was.

Leftists want unfettered immigration that treats our border as nonexistent.  Conservatives want the border secured and legal immigration.

Lots of additional documents, here.

A short history of Palestine: Why the modern Palestianians are historically irrelevant.

Marc Lamont Hill said today, "... That will give us what justice requires, and that is a free Palestine from the river to the sea."

So, let's look into what that entails.  Many conservatives are saying that he wants the destruction of Israel.  If you choose to look at a map of Palestine, you'll see that "Palestine" exists inside the borders of the state of Israel, which would indicate that to give Palestine that much land, you're gutting the state of Israel.

To learn about this, you have to go back to the Ottoman Empire (sometimes just referred to as Turkey).  Islam split when Muhammad died in 632 AD, and deciding who would take over created the rift that lead to decades of war between the factions.    The Ottoman Empire was what became from the Sunni Islamic empire, the larger of the 2 factions.  

Now how did Britain get control of any of the Middle East?  The Ottoman Empire in decided to join Germany in the Central Powers in 1914, after Germany had won some early victories in World War 1.  Russia was threatening them, as well, after fighting with them over the Balkans in 1912-13. When Germany was defeated, the land was being split off from the Ottoman Empire and taken by France, Britain, and Russia.  "To the victor, go the spoils".

It was around this time that the British government really began talking about a Jewish state back in the Middle East.  The Arabs in British "Palestine" were not different than the Arabs in French controlled Syria, or what became the TransJordan, and these areas became Jordan, Syria, and Lebanon.  They had been politically united for centuries.  "Mandatory Palestine" was to be under direct British control from 1918 until 1948. Arabs expected, to regain autonomy in the entire area, thanks to stupid British promises.  They wanted control from Syria all the way to Yemen, as if they hadn't joined the wrong side of World War 1. European nations did what they do best, they made plenty of mistakes; they made secret treaties with everyone that didn't match up.

The original map of "Palestine", from the British in 1920.

The area was generally just left under the control of these nations until World War 2, when France fell to Nazi Germany in 1940.  Syria came under the control of the Vichy French until Free French and British troops occupied the area in 1941, even after they declared their own independence.  In 1944, they were recognized as independent. 

Palestine was still under the authority of Britain, since they never were taken over.  It was back in 1922, with the full backing of the "League of Nations", that gave rise to the initial discussions of the Jewish State in Palestine.  Jews started migrating there, very slowly. Land was purchased, not stolen, and settlements grew. The Peel Commission recommended a partition of "Palestine" into Jewish and Arab states, and Arabs rejected the idea.  In 1947, the British said they couldn't control the area, and handed it over to the newly created "United Nations". The UN said that a 2-state idea was a good one. Arabs didn't like it, and they attacked the Jewish settlements. 

The UN's version of a 2-state solution was far different from Great Britain's early ideas.  Since the "TransJordan" part of the British Mandate had become just "Jordan", they still thought that what was left of Palestine was enough to split between the Jewish state and a somehow different Arab state than the surrounding independent states.

At 4:00 PM local time, on May 14th, 1948, David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the State of Israel and became the first Prime Minister, hours before the British Mandate was to end at midnight.  Five Arab states attacked the territory of the British Mandate on May 15th. Israel didn't even have a coherent defense force until the creation of the Israel Defense Forces on May 26th.  On December 1, 1948, the Palestinians wanted to unify with TransJordan, but no state was created for the Palestinians. Jordan just ended up with the land east of the Jordan River to themselves.

The UN's 2-state plan almost ensured that Israel could not exist as a nation.  They lacked defensible territory, and didn't even get all of the land between the Jordan River and Mediterranean Sea.  There was a zero percent chance that the country would have lasted had they been forced to only keep those lands. In 1967, Arab nations tried again to forcefully remove Israel from the map and lost handily.  Israel took much land from them, and willingly gave much of it back for peace. They were forced to give back key defensible positions by the UN, which the Palestinians still use to launch rockets at civilians, today.

Today, the UN still stupidly pushes for the same 2-state solution.  It doesn't seem to the matter that Palestinian Arabs were only "different" from Syrian Arabs, and TransJordanian Arabs, and Egyptian Arabs in a political sense for less than 30 years.  The state of Israel is surrounded by Arabs, the Palestinians could easily integrate into those countries.

I disagree with Marc, and most Leftists, that the Palestinians are a unique people who deserve to split Israel in half. They don't want to assimilate into the culture of the state of Israel, they don't want to work towards a peaceful solution that includes the state of Israel having full control of its own capital.  They can assimilate into Egypt, Jordan, and Syria, and they'd be out of a state they don't want to be a part of, out of extreme poverty. Another option is assimilating into Israel, like Jews did for centuries of Islamic rule all around the Middle East. About 700,000 Arabs fled the area during and after the war in 1948.  About 850,000 Jews have fled into the state of Israel during the same period of time.

Israel has become a great technological nation, with many inventions that could help it's surrounding Arab neighbors and has enriched the world.  The Palestinians grow up learning to hate Jews and how to kill them. It's time to end this insane experiment, and give Israel full control of the land within its borders. If the Palestinians want to stay, that's fantastic, and they can assimilate. Otherwise, they need to join their Arab brothers and sisters in the neighboring countries, and bring stability and peace to the region. There is neither legal, nor logical reasons to split up "Palestine" in accordance with the 1947 idea, rather than the 1922 idea.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

For more reading, check out these sources:

https://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2007/02/12/7332087/the-origins-of-the-shiite-sunni-split

https://www.britannica.com/place/Ottoman-Empire/The-empire-from-1807-to-1920

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-worldhistory/chapter/partition-of-the-ottoman-empire

https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounders/creation-of-the-state-of-israel

http://www.mythsandfacts.org/conflict/mandate_for_palestine/mandate_for_palestine.htm

Borders Aren't Racist Part 2: Why 20 Days?

Part 1 here.

Since the original Flores Agreement didn't mention 20 days, why do people keep saying that?  Well, the initial agreement didn't state anything about a length of time that children should be released, but DHS was sued for breaching that agreement in 2015.  Here's a short summary of how we got from 'kids are placed at the least restrictive level of detainment' to 'release all kids at 20 days'.

20 Days

In 2015, DHS wanted to modify the agreement because it had been 20 years, and the influx of unaccompanied minors had risen to insane levels (in 2014, almost 69,000 unaccompanied minors were caught by Border Patrol Agents) and the recent phenomenon of families illegally crossing the border en masse (38,000 more accompanied minors).  The Flores Agreement was made at a time when 130 beds being filled by kids was 'an emergency', and in 2014, it had risen to 110,000.  Thanks, Obama.

The Judge Gee's response  referenced Flores and other laws extensively, but still doesn't mandate that every child is released after 20 days: "Families who are determined to have a credible fear or reasonable fear by DHS will be released under this provision as expeditiously as possible (in light of necessary screenings and assessments that reflect legitimate government interests) and in any case within an average of 20 days from the day that such families arrive in ICE custody." (highlighting mine)

The following time isn't included in that 20 days:
"b. The following time will not count against the time within which release must occur:

     (i) Any time in ICE custody before the families have expressed a fear of persecution or torture if returned to their country of origin.
    (ii) The time between a negative credible fear or reasonable fear determination by DHS and a finding of credible fear or reasonable fear by the EOIR.
    (iii)Time requested by the family or counsel to adjourn or delay the credible fear or reasonable fear interview or service of the determination by DHS.
    (iv) Any time where exceptional circumstances, such as natural disasters or medical emergencies,  preclude conducting credible or reasonable fear interviews."

In addition, "3. Consistent with Paragraph 14 of the Agreement, if Defendants determine that there are no conditions under which release is appropriate, or if a family does not meet the conditions of release set by Defendants [DHS, INS] or by EOIR, the family may remain in an ICE Family Residential Center."  

Another example, "Recognizing the principle of family unity, in cases where only an accompanied child (but not the accompanying parent) is determined to have a credible or reasonable fear or is otherwise placed in removal proceedings under 8 U.S.C. § 1229a, the accompanied child may, in Defendants’ discretion, remain with the accompanying parent if the parent so requests until the accompanying parent’s release or removal. If Defendants determine that the accompanying parent will not be released, Defendants will consider the preferences of the accompanying parent and, in the case of a child aged 14 years or older, the preference of such child."

What discretion do they have?  That's also in the order: "In determining whether to release, Defendants shall determine whether any family member poses an unreasonable risk of flight, a danger to themselves or to others, or a threat to national security".

Now, why would the government like to hold them rather than immediately release them?  Well, there's a few public safety reasons.  They want to vet the people coming in so that they can determine who is coming in.  They want to perform health check ups and vaccinate anyone who will be released into the US.  Our government has largely wiped out Polio, Smallpox, Measles, Diphtheria and more with vaccines.  The Americans most at risk are the ones who haven't been vaccinated and are susceptible to diseases which have been wiped out in this country.  Finally, there's the compassionate side which wants to ensure that they are not being released into terrible situations, at least they're safe in these detention centers.  

The TVPRA adds another layer of bureaucracy to the mix with extra provisions related to human trafficking. 


Part 3 here.

Borders Aren't Racist Part 1: Flores Consent Agreement

    I had a dozen conversations with people about illegal immigration and detainment on the Southern border in one week alone.  There has been a lot of fact checking and reading legal documents filled  to look up what various things meant.  The amount of documents and legal rulings involved in just the issue of how illegal immigrants and kids are treated at the border is quite staggering.  It's no surprise that the government moves glacially slow with how many different documents and agreements have to be checked before anything can happen.  I would guess that the amount of material to read is just a part of why Congressional Democrats don't want to touch immigration policy.

    Democrats have claimed that parent/child separations at the border are THE proof that Trump's racist, that Jeff Sessions is racist, and that anyone who doesn't hate Trump is literally a Nazi.  Republicans claimed that a law was passed in 1997 ordering family separations, and Trump has nothing he can do.  Both are wrong.

    Jeff Sessions started a 'zero tolerance' illegal immigration policy, so that every adult caught trying to enter the country illegally would be prosecuted for breaking the law.  Great move by him, ending the amnesty train.  The problem is that with increased familial illegal immigration, the kids weren't to be kept with adults (just like any other time where parents break the law), and that is now a big deal because Trump is in office.  It happened for every administration the last 20 years.

    There is a 'perfect storm' south of the border, and our government, historically, has made vocal promises that illegal immigrants might get amnesty.  Drug violence in Mexico, Honduras, and El Salvador; the socialist implosion in Venezuela and the influx of starving immigrants into Colombia.  Adding more potential trouble is the recent Mexican election, which saw Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) win the Presidency, after saying that Mexicans have a 'human right' to not live in Mexico, but in America.  Illegal immigration will only get worse in the near future.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

    Here's a summary of what's actually in the legal statutes, starting with the Flores Consent Agreement, which sets the precedent which separates unaccompanied minors from adults.

    In 1985, there was a class action lawsuit alleging that children were being kept inhumanely at the border.  In 1987, the courts agreed that minors should be housed with certain standards.  In 1993, the case reached the Supreme Court, which demanded that they reach a settlement.  In 1997, the Flores Consent Agreement (FCA) was signed by Janet Reno ending the lawsuit for a time and agreeing to make changes to how unaccompanied children were treated.

Unlike I've heard several times, the Agreement itself neither says that children are outright released, nor that kids are released in 20 days.  There is no specific time given for when the are to be released, just that they must be placed (not released) into the least restrictive environment without unnecessary delay.  Immigration services had been pretty slow complying with the rules, but that's the government.

    So, what does the FCA say?

    The kids should be kept in programs somewhat close to where they were apprehended, given treatment if they have special needs.  Minors will be separated and transported separately from unrelated adults, and if that's not immediately possible, it will happen within 24 hours.  If a suitable program isn't found, then they're placed in immigration detention centers that have separate accommodations for children. 

    If keeping children in detainment isn't required to get them to show up for their hearing, then they are to be released to a parent, or a guardian, or any adult relative, or any adult willing to house them, or a licensed program, or as a last resort, another adult immigrant if family reunification isn't possible.

    Any adult taking the child must sign an affidavit promising to care for the physical, mental, and financial well-being of the child.  They promise that the child will show up to future hearings, will tell authorities 5 days before they change their address, and 5 days before they leave the country unless the child is self deporting.

    At the time, more than 130 minors being in a licensed program at one time was considered enough to be 'an emergency' which mandated 80 more beds to be found.  If they say they're a minor, but a reasonable person would think they're an adult, then they're treated as an adult unless a medical or dental exam proves that they're a minor.

    If they get into any more trouble, or are an escape risk, they can be placed in juvenile detention centers.   That includes other criminal activity or if they're a risk to other children.  If any minor does not agree with their placement, they can get a judicial review of their case.  Any transfer of the minor will include all of their belongings and appropriate paperwork.

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So if the FCA doesn't say anything about '20 days', where does that come from?  Stay tuned, that's next.

A Declaration of Independence

Today, the Independence Holiday of America, I figured maybe we should study the document itself, to refocus our energies on what is right and good rather than what 'feels' a certain way.  With the freedom that we enjoy today comes a solemn responsibility to continue improving ourselves and our country.

A modern English translation:

We 13 colonies unanimously declare that we are independent.  It is proper that when people declare independence, they explain the causes for which they are seeking independence.

All men are created equal before the law and before the God who has given them unalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of "Happiness".  To secure these rights, we create governments who derive their powers from the governed and if a government becomes too destructive, it is right for people to abolish it.  Governments should not be changed for 'light and transient causes', but people should suffer without violence, attempting to correct the wrongs until it is too much, and then the government should be overthrown and replaced by new 'Guards for their security'.  The King has been a tyrant, and here are the facts.

• We have sent our grievances to England and the King has ignored them.
• He forbade his governors from passing our local laws until the King reviewed them, and then he ignored them.
• He has refused to incorporate the American colonies as part of the legislature of England.
• He calls legislative bodies together at odd times and places to force them to comply with his wishes.
• He dissolves the representative houses that we try to create.
• He does not let anyone else create representation for us, and the colonies have remained in danger from internal and external conflicts.
• He refuses to allow people to immigrate here, doesn't naturalize foreigners, and does not let us expand West.
• He obstructs the creation of Judiciary powers in the colonies.
• He makes judges rule the way he wishes, and they are solely reliant on him for pay.
• He has created a bureaucracy in the colonies to harass the colonists and take what they want.
• He keeps standing armies in our cities during times of peace without our consent.
• He has given the military authority over everyone else in the colonies.
• He joined with others to submit us to jurisdiction separate from our colonial governments and they come up with their own legislation.
• For Quartering large armies among us.
• For protecting the military from the murders they commit against colonials.
• For refusing allow us to trade with anyone but England.
• For taxing us without our consent.
• For refusing our right to trial by jury.
• For transporting us to England for fake offenses.
• For abolishing another province's laws and creating arbitrary governance and enlarging it's boundaries so that the same can be done to the colonies.
• For removing colonial Charters and fundamentally changing forms of colonial governments.
• For suspending colonial legislatures, and giving the authority to England.
• He has abdicated government by refusing to protect the colonies and waging war against us.
• He plundered our ships, ravaged the coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed people's lives.
• He is transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to fight against us, and they are barbaric.
• He has taken our citizens prisoner on the high Seas to fight against us, and forces them to execute each other.
• He has created domestic insurrections among us, and is trying to get the Indians to attack us, who destroy without distinguishing between combatants and civilians.
• In every stage, we have tried to work things out with the King, and he insults us at every turn.  He is unfit to rule a free people, he is a tyrant.

We have also tried appealing to our fellow Britons, about the attempts at unwarrantable jurisdiction.

We tried reminding them why we came here to begin with, we appeal to their respect for the rule of law.  They, too, have been deaf to our pleas, and we hold them as enemies in war, but friends in peace.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the free USA do publish and declare our right to be free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to the crown and any political connection therein.  We have the right, as independent states, to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and everything else that nations do.  With a firm reliance on divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Moral Preening Replaces Historical Fact

In 2015, reporters caught Trump off guard with a question about Japenese internment.  Why do I say he was caught off guard? His answer was the answer given by someone wants to remain neutral, and at the same time, score points and has no idea what you're talking about.  "I certainly hate the concept of it. But I would have had to be there at the time to give you a proper answer.”, he said.

It's a terrible answer, honestly.  FDR and his cronies decided that the threat of Japanese invasion was too great to keep American citizens with Japenese ancestry free and ordered that any and all Japenese be placed in internment camps. They were given days, or even just hours, to gather the things they thought were most valuable, before being taken to temporary camps before finally being transported to the more permanent internment camps that were poorly and hastily built.

This was an unconstitutional order, like many others under the FDR administration.  They had their businesses stolen from them, their possessions given to others, and uprooted from their lives.  While at the camps, they tried to keep living life in the crappy conditions, getting married, having kids, continuing to contribute to society.  It took 40+ years for an official US Government apology, by a Republican, Ronald Reagan, along with a financial reparation.

Remember when I said they were American citizens?  The men were still required to register for the draft and serve in the military (in Europe, of course) even though they'd had their rights and lives violated by a President who didn't care about the Constitution.  Some of them refused, and were jailed.

Now, why am I bringing this up?

There's a young woman in Hawaii, Beth Fukumoto, who has used Trump's answer as part of her reason for joining the Democrats.  She was the House Minority Leader for the Republican Party in Hawaii, and when she got ousted, she switched parties.

"This election, I saw members of my party marginalizing and condemning minorities, ethnic or otherwise, and making demeaning comments towards women," Fukumoto wrote in her letter. "So, when I listened as our now top office holder refused to condemn the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, speaking out didn't seem like a choice."

Instead of trying to meet with him and fill him in on something he's clueless about, she is leaving the Republican party to join the party responsible for placing Japenese Americans into internment.  That is a serious case of cognitive dissonance, and a lack of historical knowledge.  I'm guessing her losing her position has more to do with it than what Trump clumsily said, or she'd have NOT joined the party responsible for placing them in the internment camps to begin with, that also started a war to keep slaves, voted against desegregation, voted against ending Jim Crow, broke treaties with Indians and forced them to travel the Trail of Tears, supported racist eugenics via abortion.

Not one of these things has the Democratic Party apologized for.  They just try to shift the blame to Republicans, and move on, so spare us the sanctimonious BS. 

If you want more information about Japenese internment, here are a few resources:
The Densho Encyclopedia
Heart Mountain Interpretive Center

Is my voice something to be used for good?

If I believe that God has given me a great mind, should I be using it more than I have been for good, rather then laziness?

This blog, so far, has been a way for me to try to make sense of things that have happened to me, a way to cope.  I think unless you're a person praying for me, you aren't going to care all that much about what I've said so far.

The Constitution, through the 1st amendment, says that God has given us the right to speak whatever we want without government retaliation (within reason).  With all of our rights comes a solemn and spiritual obligation to be responsible with the gifts that we've been given. We're given the right to speak, but there's no obligation that anyone has to listen.

I'm sick of having conversations with strangers online where they use their voice to criticize everything that they disagree with, without any logical backing.

I'm sick of people completely disregarding actual facts because they 'feel' that things should be different.  In the words of Ben Shapiro, "Facts don't care about your feelings".  We don't need to find "our truth", we don't need to "chase our dreams" blindly and stupidly, we need to find THE truth, and adapt our lives to what the truth actually is.  Our perception affects our feelings, but it doesn't change the facts.

I'm starting this back up, in hopes of influencing people positively and truthfully.  If you love someone, you're honest with them; that's how it's supposed to work.

Until next time,
Kaveman out.

Fulfillment

The other day, I was asked whether or not my job fulfills me, and I kind of laughed and said 'no'.  I won't get into lots of detail, but I sit in various areas and watch cameras, or I patrol, or I'm searching things.  To me, that's not really fulfilling.  It's hard for me to draw much fulfillment from such a dormant job, one in which I don't believe I'm making much of an impact or accomplishing anything.

The activities of my job don't excite me, nor does the schedule where we work days one week and nights the next until we're zombies (or maybe it's just me that's the zombie).  Despite the lack of excitement from my daily activities at work, it is a good job, with good pay and benefits, it's typically not strenuous, and because of long working hours each day, we get many days off per month.  But we'll work weekends and holidays on a consistent basis.

There was a time that I looked to this job for fulfillment, though.  I let the job, and my quality of work, the 'rankings' define me.  When things weren't going well at work, I let that affect other areas of my life.  I'd let the disappointments of the day, the anger, get to me at home or when with friends.  When relationships at work were in bad shape, it would dominate my week, and it let it fester.  I work with several people who pride themselves in being assholes, who at times act like they need to put someone down.

That's one thing I've been intentionally working on lately (the last several months), to not let work carry over to home.  While things have gotten better relationally at work, a bad day doesn't wreck me.  What I do, and what happens at work isn't my foundation, it's not what defines me.  My relationship with Christ is the sole thing I care about that defining me.    Maintaining that is of utmost importance to me, and it does take effort.  Not 'work', but effort and time.

At work, I've kind of become the crew motivator, or 'cheerleader' maybe.  My goal is to develop relationships, and let people know I care.  Sometimes it's not fun, if I'm dealing with the same guys who are never really responsive, but I try not to let it get to me if there's no response.  I'm not doing it for me, at least I'm trying not to.  I don't think my witness as a believer has been that great, and that's probably the biggest thing I regret,so far.  I still have a general lack of trust that any of them would have my back, especially supervision,but that doesn't matter.  My job, as a Christian is to simply love them, for they are made in the image of God, just like me.  I fail a lot, but I'm doing better.

2015 so far. The pinnacle of pain, and God's redeeming love.

2014 ended, and 2015 began with a time of relaxation.  A friend was back home from Europe, and a friend came up from Missouri.  We talked, we hung out, we played video games, and we enjoyed seeing each other, again.  I was still a bit depressed, and it probably affected how I responded to them.  I'd had a buddy from work fixing my car, and we got to cruise around with it (a 95 Cobra) and my Missouri friend's late 80's IROC Camaro.  It's always good to cruise in muscle cars :)

After the New Year's break, I tried ignoring things back at work, and instead of the teasing stopping, they had picked it up a notch.  I still didn't enjoy coming to work, and didn't plan ahead in a constructive way that would give me some leeway if I ran into slow traffic or bad weather.  This lead to me being about 1-2 minutes late one day when it was snowing because I couldn't get around people driving 'slow'  (or sane) in the snow.  I am harder on myself than they were (not one of my best traits), but I got a slow-clap from people when I walked in, which made me even more angry.  It was only when I stopped talking to everyone that they slowed down, but it also caught the eye of a supervisor.

The VA had gotten a new primary doctor for Iraq vets, and he seemed more helpful than the previous one.  He genuinely seemed to care, and want to improve my health.  He put me on Naproxen for my leg, and that helped the pain a LOT.  The only negative side effect was that if you didn't eat food with it, it makes you sick to your stomach.  I took it without food, and woke up for work at my normal time feeling terrible.  I called in right after waking up (0435 or so), and spent the day laying on the couch with stomach cramps.  They consider anything after 0400 a ‘late call-in’, and I don't wake up until 0430 ish, so that was a negative hit on me, as well.  The late call-in, being late, and me not wanting to talk to anyone lead my supervisor to put something negative in my year-end review, but not talk to me at all.

I thought things had been slightly improving at work,, and I was coming up with plans to pay my medical bills (I ended up paying around $2000 in January and February on those).  The reduced leg pain definitely helped my psyche, and I thought that finally I was coming out of my funk.  My friends had been holding an accountability group while reading "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg, and invited me to join.

That was when I got the final blow.  My supervisor had stopped me for a 2-minute conversation on a Sunday to 'see if things were ok', and that was the only indication that something might have been amiss.  Six months of him not talking to me about being teased several hours a shift which wasn't exactly hidden, but a 2 minute conversation that day.  People from other crews that worked with us definitely noticed, and talked to me about how [rude] they were.   After working a night shift two days later, I woke up to a phone call that I shouldn't go into work, I was getting a ‘random’ psychological test.  You don't just get random psychological tests, and I took it personal, it felt like someone WANTED me fired.  So that went through my head for 16 hours before having to take the test and meet with the section at work who handles these things.

Thankfully, that morning was my first time in the group accountability call.  I was able to not bear this alone, and get some much needed prayer, if nothing else, just for my mind.  I was still a half of a wreck when I showed up for the test, but it didn’t take long.  I'd just have to come back in a few hours and have a face-chat with the psychologist about the results.  I was able to get a nap in, and that was another blessing.  I got through the interview just fine, and got some tips: When you go silent, he said, you're what sticks out, not the people being pricks.  I then talked with the section supervisor of that group, as a follow-up.  I could have given up names, I could have changed crews, and yet I chose to stick with the same group of people without saying a word.  I'm still trying to see what I can do to change the culture of the crew, but it might  take a while.  I need to make sure i'm not joining them, and trying to be an example of Christ's love to them.

Since that day, things have been getting better and better.  My medical bills are paid off, I am on a payment plan for my debt, and we've added an additional group call for accountability (which I definitely need).  I've lost almost 20 pounds, had the VA remove a lump from my head, they fixed my nose so I could breathe through it, and not need a CPAP.

I am now working on a research project for myself, continuing to work on my house when I can and I'm trying to lose weight.  Next up on my body is figuring out how to get my left leg back; it's still not working right.  I'm trying to establish consistent times in prayer and scripture, but with rotating shifts, I'm lucky to know what day it is, sometimes.  

The only thing more embarrassing than a financial audit, might be an audit of my time.  What you spend your time and money on say a lot about what you REALLY care about.  I'm working on trusting God in EVERYTHING and allowing Him to change my heart to be generous with my money and spending my time more wisely.  If someone annoys you, because of their constant speaking, looking for attention, don’t look down on them for that.  They’re looking to you because they are placing value in YOU, and your attention, and because they’re not getting it elsewhere.

Today might suck, but you'll wake up with a fresh slate tomorrow, if you allow yourself that.  His mercies are new every day.

2014, The Finale

We're now getting to the part of the year that I've wanted to reflect on the least because of how painful it was.  I had financial troubles, my leg remained troublesome, and my relationship with my coworkers had changed due to my absence.

While working at the training center, I got a call one day out of the blue (I think it was a Monday) from one of my department managers telling me that the very next day, I would be expected to report back with my department to assist them with upcoming department related stuff.  I had known it was coming, eventually, but the suddenness of it still shocked me.  I told the woman who I'd been working under that they had called me back, and tried to get as much done as I could on the big project I'd been tasked with.  I had physical therapy scheduled already, and the property assessor was stopping by my house a few days later.  I would get to juggle a few more things that I thought I had planned out, as well.  At least with the constant change in my life, I've gotten pretty good at being able to adjust and keep moving forward.  I still don't like it, though.

I showed up the next day, back with the department, and generally did paperwork sorting/filing or supply accountability.  I missed being at the training facility, but, was still allowed autonomy and the ability to simply get things done without a lot of oversight.  Some days I'd show up, and be tasked with taking company vehicles and picking up light generators or vans that were needed.  I helped other sections of the department with various outage preparations (pulling files, printing thousands of pages of needed forms, shredding).  The pace of work wasn't bad at all.  I got to help with pre-outage, but they pulled someone else off shift to help with the actual outage stuff, while pushing me through training to get re-qualified.  It bugged me at first, but at least my hours would be improving and I could get consistent overtime to make up for the lost funds through the summer.

The process to get re-qualified started with getting clearance from the surgeon who had performed my surgery.  I tried using these appointments to also continue to convey the messages my body was giving me that my leg was still not feeling good.  Physical therapy was wrapping up, and the same lingering issues with ligament pain that came with straightening my knee, then seeing how far I could bend it persisted (and vice versa).  It wasn't 100% comfortable to simply walk, much less run.  I was told several times that this was 'typical' recovery pain, and just accepted defeat.  There was no evaluation, no investigation, nothing would be done about it.  (The pain walking persists today, July 2015).  One day during physical therapy, I just couldn't do it, I told them.  It was hurting too much to just walk, much less go through 45 minutes of rehab.  They got out one of their Graston tools, and went to work.  It was very painful, at times, but I could feel it working, and it reduced pain quite a bit. With less pain in my leg, I got cleared and re-qualified, and went back on shift.

When I got back on shift, relationships had changed slightly, and I was on the outside, as far as having a clue was concerned.  I got blamed for a few things which I didn't partake in, and that opened the floodgates to be 'poked' by co-workers.  After about a month, I wasn't really handling things well.  I had enough issues at home dealing with how I would pay for my credit accounts, medical bills, and my house repairs.  In addition to that, a very close friend was dealing with his wife's infidelity, another friend had been hiding his divorce and was furious when  I found out, and co-worker's wife was cheating on him and stealing from him.  I let these things also affect my attitude, and mental state, since I'm a single guy who was about to give up on the prospects of ever marrying or even dating.

Throughout this time at work, my supervisors never once publicly stopped me being teased, which really bugged me.  If I responded, I got talked to about it, but never once did they publicly attempt to stop it.  This lead to a lack of trust on my part, especially after what we'd gone through just 7 months prior (supervisors who want respect but don't earn it).  I've come to realize and accept my responsibilities in the problems, I need to do a better job of respecting authority, whether they earn it or not.  All of this lead to me hate going to work, which was new.  I'd generally been happy to go to work because it meant I had a job, and that was good.  But I couldn't (or didn't) deal well with being teased every single shift.

With the reduced hours during the summer, I'd lost over $3000 worth of expected salary, and fallen behind on most of my bills.  They were getting more persistent in wanting payment, and I got frequent calls from creditors and the medical facilities.  I was trying to get caught up, but it was never enough, it seemed.  I decided to take fall semester classes, despite my finances, and this wasn't a wise decision.  With all the extra stress, I passed one of the two classes I took, and failed quite spectacularly the 2nd one.  I was in a bad place in just about every way possible, and wasn't turning towards God.

Everything was crashing down around me, and I felt like I was going through everything alone.  I didn't want to bother anyone with my troubles, I didn't confide in anyone, and wasn't crying out to God for help.  Some nights I prayed that I just wouldn't wake up.  Through it all, my mom and stepdad were about the only thing keeping me going.  They weren't (and still aren't) pushing me out of the house, despite the fact that they'd have every right to.

If I had any advice from this time frame, it's that you shouldn't go through life with all of your burdens on your shoulders.  For one, Jesus has offered and will take them all from you.  Second, accountability and a close circle of friends are more valuable to your spiritual and mental status.  They can help you refocus on God and give you a perspective that you may have missed.  That's also an extremely important factor in your local congregation.  That's one of Satan's tricks, to make you think you have nowhere to turn, nothing going well, and that no one cares.  If you don't share your problems, people may not see that you are having any.

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Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

"Jesus gave it all to save you, He carried the cross on His shoulders so you can start over"

NF in the song "Start Over" by Flame

Aaaah, life is BUSY!

Sorry that I haven't made a blog post for 3 months, things have been crazy and busy.  I've had two surgeries (removing a benign lypoma from my scalp, and a septoplasty with a bunch of other pain tossed in for fun!), and getting things lined up for what I hope is an exciting rest of the year.  I've also not really wanted to dig up the pain that I'll be discussing from the second half of last year.

I've got two blog posts ready to go, pending me going over them again in a day or two and possibly some extra oversight from a buddy.  I'm back in the writing mood, and I have some heavy topics I think need far more intellect than are actually being given by most of the people in this country.

2014 Part 4

In part 4, I start at the beginning of summer until just before I head back to work with my department.

When I got to go back to work, I was at my employer's training center.  I had to do a little training myself, to get caught up on their processes and expectations, but soon I was busy with whatever they threw at me.  I can't tell you how nice it was working with that group of people.  All consummate professionals, they made me feel welcome and important as soon as I was there.  Despite being quite busy most days, it wasn't stressful, there wasn't conflict, and it was a nice mental recovery.  I didn't feel the need to analyze every interaction with nagging questions;  'Did I say too much?', 'Will this person try to use that against me?', 'What was that all about?'.

One of my responsibilities was going to be watching people take tests, making sure they didn't cheat, helping them find courses, and getting them moved in the right direction for classroom training.  This allowed the woman I was working for, who was absolutely swamped, to actually get some of her work done.  I was also helping her check her tests and answers and study material against the 'base' model sent out by a regulator, so even when there weren't many people (if any) that needed computer tests, I kept busy.  On the off chance that there was nothing else I could do (typically because a program wasn't 'licensed' to me, or I didn't have the credentials), I took e-learning classes, which didn't cost me anything.

I took a few on leadership and emotional intelligence, acknowledging that controlling my emotions isn't always easy.  One, in particular, was both good and bad: It was about removing stress from work, which I'd had quite a bit of right before tearing my ACL.  For the class, you'd make a list of what you expect to get out of work, other than a paycheck, what motivates you, and what your goals are.  Then, you compare it with what your workplace's stated objectives/goals are.  It'll suffice to say that, for me, the lists didn't match up, and it was fairly easy to recall instances in reality where my employer's stated objective seemed like a facade.  It didn't really excite me to be heading back to my department soon.

One of the highlights of this time period, was that I was also taking college courses again, having started right after I tore my ACL.  I took a Computer Management Information Systems class, which sounds fancy, but was really just an indepth class about Microsoft Office.  I learned a TON taking the class, and that would pay off later in the summer, both in my summer class and at the training center.  It was a class that made learning fun, which is pretty rare, especially for online classes. During the summer, I took Accounting 1, which was a refresher from a class I'd taken 11 years prior in high school, but was also much more in depth.  It was very fast paced, but with a class like that, I enjoy the work.  I had considered taking a second class, but I'm glad I didn't.  Getting through a single accounting class in 8 weeks was enough hurry.

I tried to maintain my sanity throughout the summer by continuing a tradition of attending about one Royals game per month.  I can be fully content watching the games on TV, but I really think going to the stadium, in that atmosphere, is really fun.  I guess you could say that it helps when they're not always losing.  I'm scared of heights, so I don't enjoy sitting in the real high seats, very often.  Kauffman Stadium sits into the earth, so the first level of seats is below the level of the parking lot.  Those are fine with me, even if they're more expensive.  A buddy of mine and I share the cost, most games, where one of us will buy the tickets, and the other pays for gas; it works out pretty evenly.  The $80-100 per trip could have been used more wisely, but life needs to be fun, at times, as well.  I try to buy tickets to the 'give-away' games (bobble heads, generally, sometimes t-shirts), and we got the Alex Gordon Bobblehead this past season. 

On a side note, their 2015 bobble heads look SWEEEEET.  They've got various memorable events from the playoffs captured in bobblehead form, and I'm probably going to be showing up as soon as the gates open to the parking lot, those games.

Early on, I could tell that something was amiss in physical therapy when I'd do flatten my leg out, and then be told to see how much I could bend my knee.  It was so early in recovery, I didn't say anything in particular, I'd just mention in passing the discomfort.  I figured it would work itself out, which it hasn't, yet.  It still hurts to straighten my knee, more so with weight on it.  When I see how much I can bend my knee, there's a sharp pang from my hamstring (I'm assuming).

Because of my leg hurting, and spending money on Royals games, and medical bills, I didn't hardly do a thing all summer on the house.  It was enough just to get the lawn mowed, much less kill all the weeds and make it look very good.  I would usually do half one day, and finish the next, with a bunch of ice therapy in between.  I should have been taking antiinflammatories as well, but since I generally consider them, 'pain relief', I didn't.  I also wasn't stretching near as much as I needed to be.

It was a time of rest, and yet I wasn't taking things seriously enough, yet.  I still wasn't preparing and making good use of the time away from work.  The amount of paperwork you get for a major surgery like that is nuts.  From provider bills to insurance forms, it gets a little overwhelming.  It's easy to get some paperwork lost in the shuffle (for me).  I need a better system of keeping track of important paperwork, that's one thing I've learned.

Fixing myself up

I'm finally getting things fixed.

Health issues that have been bugging me since my deployment, I'm finally taking care of, well, most of them.  It's only taken tearing my ACL to motivate me.

I injured my left leg while in Mississippi, and I didn't go to the doctor.  I really didn't even tell my chain of command because I wanted to serve, I wanted to do my part.  I wasn't going to let a stupid accident in the barracks keep me from going to Iraq.  I mean, I could walk fine (as long as the incline wasn't too bad), and I could run, sorta.  My knee really didn't swell, but that's the area where the pain manifested itself.  In Iraq, I couldn't run more than 1/2 mile without my leg being sore and my foot going numb during a PT test, but I could play basketball for hours, and run on an elliptical just fine.

After ACL reconstruction last year, my knee itself seemed good only a few months after surgery, which was great, but surprising.  When I started jogging, though, my hamstring gave me issues, and continues to give me issues.  It's like my left leg just isn't aligned properly.  When I stand, the weight goes to the ball of my foot, not my heel. That gnarly callous I have on my right heel definitely isn't there on my left foot, and my work boots wear differently. Right now I'm just taking a big time NSAID, and it's helped a LOT, but like other things, it seems like a temporary fix to a permanent problem.  We'll see where it goes, but I'm optimistic for the first time in a long time.

Sometime during the deployment, a lump formed on the back of my head.  I stopped 'Biccing' my head (shaving it bald with 'Bic' razors) at that point, but I don't really remember the date.  Hopefully this week, after only 7 1/2 years, it will be removed and I'll finally have some clue what it was, and maybe even what caused it to form.  It's never really hurt, just more of an annoyance because people see it and ask what it is, and I have no idea.  Also an annoyance because when I cut my hair, I never really knew if I was cutting the hair right in that area, or if I'd have a long tuft around it.  I like 'high and tight' hair cuts, and it's RIGHT at that level that it makes it tough to cut them myself.

I haven't really been able to breathe since I've been home, not through my nose.  I mean, my nose was never really a turbine, or anything, but it seems like I just can't get full breaths through my nose, leading to me yawning, or simply breathing through my mouth.  It's made sleeping terrible, because I just stop breathing. The VA got me a CPAP after a sleep study.  They said it wasn't the worst case they'd seen by far, but it was bad.  The CPAP, though, bugs the hell out of me because while it may seem to help for a week or two, it then doesn't seem to be anything more than an annoyance which leads to a love/hate relationship with it.  I've only chucked it a few times.  Right now I'm using BreatheRight strips, but they work minimally to really help me breathe.  The days that I have 1 1/2 nostrils are the good days.

And then there are the issues that may linger.  I never got to even shoot at someone over there, and never got shot at or blown up, personally. But it's still sobering when you drive by an area, and it blows up 10 seconds later, two trucks behind you.  I'm the type of person who can't let things like that go, that wishes I could have done anything to keep it from happening.  They lived, and fully recovered, as far as I know, but it was close to not working out that way.  Or watching a vehicle that your buddies were just in burn to the ground, just being thankful that they got out.

I think with the rise of ISIS (at least part of which was helped by parts of the US government as an anti Syrian government force) and other world events, we'll probably be back in the Middle East.  I think in ten years or less, we could be dealing with problems inside our own borders, based on ideologies that democratic politicians seem to enjoy supporting (radical Islam, open borders, race baiting, class warfare, communist agitators) and the groups that they've spurned in recent years (Israel, European allies, Christians worldwide).

I'd like to be useful when these times come, so I guess I have a lot of work to do to get back in somewhat decent shape.

Reflecting on 2014, Part 3

My birthday present was the confirmation that yes, my ACL was torn, along with needing some of my meniscus trimmed.  I drove to Lincoln, to Lincoln Orthopedic Center to see Dr. Lawson.  He's a pretty goofy guy, but a good doctor, and honest.  While I was in Lincoln, I also got myself some crutches.  I'd been borrowing some, and they were about 3-4 inches too short and very old.  I still could not really walk, so crutches were a necessity.  I also made a stop at a home improvement store to get a chair for the shower.  Not being able to stand for showering wasn't fun at all.

The main thing I needed to do was keep my knee elevated, iced, and wrapped.  I couldn't work on my house, or walk, or stand on both legs, so I watched a LOT of TV (mainly the combine and NFL draft prep type videos via the NFL Network and YouTube), and played lots of a game that I'd purchased, DayZ.  It's a zombie apocalypse survival game, which means it's 'survival' and player vs player.  I play it, mainly, for the PVP.  If I want to learn or practice survival skills, I'll do that in real life.  With my house, that's sort of what it's become!  I joined a group, the "Reddit Rescue Force", 'RRF' for short.  Doing this, you run around helping people who have gotten hurt.  I had a local plumbing company do some work, though, to help me get my washer hooked up.  They did a great job, and I learned another valuable lesson: Get a quote first, every single time.

So, back to life.  Usually we have a supervisor review our time sheets to be a check for errors, and keep you from putting too much time down.  Because of when I'd torn my ACL, I only had a few hours on that pay period on my check prior to being off shift.  They didn't update anything (and I didn't check), so I got a paycheck in April for less than 30 hours over the previous two weeks.  I had to call my mortgage company and get my payment moved back to the end of the month because 30 hours minus taxes, retirement, and healthcare wasn't even close to covering my house payment, much less the mortgage in addition my utilities and other expenses.  Luckily, it's not like I'd spent much the previous two weeks, and I could cover my utilities, and gas to doctor appointments, but that was definitely an unneeded stress.

I wanted to return to work on crutches prior to surgery, in a light duty capacity, and was denied.  I knew I'd be cutting it close to running out of all my paid time off (vacation/sick leave), but once you ask and are denied, there's not much else that can be done.  So, I kept waiting, and resting, and gaming.  I should have done more reading, looking back.

By the time I had surgery on April 17th, I could nearly walk without pain, even though I wasn't supposed to be putting any weight on it.  I wasn't awake for the surgery, but from what I'm told it went well.  I don't mean to brag, but I'm a very good patient when I'm knocked out.  Afterward, I woke up in short stints about three times in the recovery room, but fell right back asleep.  Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, ACL reconstruction surgery is out-patient and I was able to go home that night, as soon as I ate my mandatory 'meal'.  I had my brace, a cool-pack with a detachable large thermos to circulate the water, the On-Q medicine drip IV, and my crutches.  That On-Q was AMAZING, I barely felt anything those first days, unless I turned the line down too much.

That very next Monday, (the 4th day after surgery) I was already in physical therapy!  They unwrapped my knee for the first time since surgery and we worked on simple things like stretching and bending the knee.  Obviously, my knee was pretty stiff, and getting it to bend even 30 degrees felt like quite a strain.  I needed to get it limber fairly soon, I was supposed to be in a wedding that weekend.  Thankfully, the bride would allow me to wear shorts instead of trying to figure out how to get dress pants over my brace and cool pack.  That cool pack was my main source of pain relief at that point; I could tell when it was warming up because my knee would begin the dull ache of inflamed tendons, and ligaments.

The day before the wedding,  I met the guys at the airport where we picked up the best man, and headed up to Coleridge, Nebraska, for the rehearsal dinner and bachelor party.  The rehearsal went well, from what I could tell, apart my my slightly slow gait.  The choice for the bachelor party was bar hopping back towards Norfolk with the groom and best man wearing squirrel suits.  Only in part due to my limited mobility, I cut myself off early and got to drive the car back to Norfolk. Somewhere in the hoopla one of my crutches got bent, but I don't remember when. The wedding went great the next day, and the reception afterwards was a blast.  They had a picture booth and tons of props, so we got some good pictures from that.  Needless to say, I didn't dance, unless you consider making ice runs 'boogying'.

That next week would be my last week off from work before going back on light duty, so I tried to enjoy it.  Other than physical therapy at the hospital, I didn't have anything scheduled for that week, and I didn't try to change that.  My body was probably healthy enough to do light duty activities, but I had been told that I couldn't go back until the first full week of May, so there was nothing I could do.  As it turned out with my paid time off, I had to take 20 hours of 'PTO' unpaid.  In addition to losing an OT spot, and getting a super short check a few weeks prior, finances were tight. 

That was one of the tougher areas of 2014 was dealing with lost income.  Another valuable lesson that I had known, but hadn't taken the time to put in action was to save money, and save it intentionally.  Before I purchased the house, I'd had a few thousand dollars saved up, but after I'd bought the house, and seen how much work I'd need to do to it, I emptied my savings working on the house, and hadn't bothered even attempting to refill it.  I'd spent just about every penny I could trying to get tools or work on parts for the house.  I hadn't known I'd be missing work, and losing money like I did, or I would have done something about it.  Prepare yourself for the unexpected.