Is my voice something to be used for good?

If I believe that God has given me a great mind, should I be using it more than I have been for good, rather then laziness?

This blog, so far, has been a way for me to try to make sense of things that have happened to me, a way to cope.  I think unless you're a person praying for me, you aren't going to care all that much about what I've said so far.

The Constitution, through the 1st amendment, says that God has given us the right to speak whatever we want without government retaliation (within reason).  With all of our rights comes a solemn and spiritual obligation to be responsible with the gifts that we've been given. We're given the right to speak, but there's no obligation that anyone has to listen.

I'm sick of having conversations with strangers online where they use their voice to criticize everything that they disagree with, without any logical backing.

I'm sick of people completely disregarding actual facts because they 'feel' that things should be different.  In the words of Ben Shapiro, "Facts don't care about your feelings".  We don't need to find "our truth", we don't need to "chase our dreams" blindly and stupidly, we need to find THE truth, and adapt our lives to what the truth actually is.  Our perception affects our feelings, but it doesn't change the facts.

I'm starting this back up, in hopes of influencing people positively and truthfully.  If you love someone, you're honest with them; that's how it's supposed to work.

Until next time,
Kaveman out.

Fulfillment

The other day, I was asked whether or not my job fulfills me, and I kind of laughed and said 'no'.  I won't get into lots of detail, but I sit in various areas and watch cameras, or I patrol, or I'm searching things.  To me, that's not really fulfilling.  It's hard for me to draw much fulfillment from such a dormant job, one in which I don't believe I'm making much of an impact or accomplishing anything.

The activities of my job don't excite me, nor does the schedule where we work days one week and nights the next until we're zombies (or maybe it's just me that's the zombie).  Despite the lack of excitement from my daily activities at work, it is a good job, with good pay and benefits, it's typically not strenuous, and because of long working hours each day, we get many days off per month.  But we'll work weekends and holidays on a consistent basis.

There was a time that I looked to this job for fulfillment, though.  I let the job, and my quality of work, the 'rankings' define me.  When things weren't going well at work, I let that affect other areas of my life.  I'd let the disappointments of the day, the anger, get to me at home or when with friends.  When relationships at work were in bad shape, it would dominate my week, and it let it fester.  I work with several people who pride themselves in being assholes, who at times act like they need to put someone down.

That's one thing I've been intentionally working on lately (the last several months), to not let work carry over to home.  While things have gotten better relationally at work, a bad day doesn't wreck me.  What I do, and what happens at work isn't my foundation, it's not what defines me.  My relationship with Christ is the sole thing I care about that defining me.    Maintaining that is of utmost importance to me, and it does take effort.  Not 'work', but effort and time.

At work, I've kind of become the crew motivator, or 'cheerleader' maybe.  My goal is to develop relationships, and let people know I care.  Sometimes it's not fun, if I'm dealing with the same guys who are never really responsive, but I try not to let it get to me if there's no response.  I'm not doing it for me, at least I'm trying not to.  I don't think my witness as a believer has been that great, and that's probably the biggest thing I regret,so far.  I still have a general lack of trust that any of them would have my back, especially supervision,but that doesn't matter.  My job, as a Christian is to simply love them, for they are made in the image of God, just like me.  I fail a lot, but I'm doing better.