The first few days back
from France were largely spent recovering from the jet lag, as well as the
7-hour time difference.
I got settled back into my routine at work, for the
most part. My goal at work is to have good working relationships with the
people on my crew. We see each other more than we see our families during the
shifts that we work, so we have to get along. In 2013, we'd gotten a supervisor
from a different crew, and he really ruffled people's feathers when he first
came over.
He and I have similar personalities; we like to get
things done, we're very proactive, we don't take criticism well, or at least
not at face value. Then, there are the parts of our personality that aren't
similar... When he gets bored, he tries to find things to entertain himself,
and sometimes it's at other people's expense. If I'm bored, I'll pull something
out of the back of my brain, and start chewing on it until I can get it
advanced in some way. I enjoy a good time messing around with co-workers (if I
trust them), but I try not to make or take anything personal, and I don't enjoy
conflict.
I'm sure you'll find this everywhere, that you have
people who are invested at different levels of commitment to their workplace,
and their quality of work. This supervisor and I are both pretty dedicated to
doing our best, regardless of the task, but this is where a fracture started to
develop. I was a little jealous of the attention co-worker A was getting, as
well, and it felt like a slap in the face that he was getting so much attention
and bravado, while it felt like I was being tossed aside (with nearly everyone
else on the crew).
My first approach was to have direct conversations
with the supervisor about this, which didn't really go anywhere. Co-worker A
started getting teased a lot by everyone because of his ambition in a promotion
when they felt like he really didn't know his current job well. In the past,
I'd gotten similar ribbing, but it seemed more harsh with him, perhaps because
I didn't care that they were saying it. I tried helping co-worker A for a
while, but it didn't seem to matter.
The relationship with the supervisor came to a head
in late February and early March. We had some heated discussions, and as the
subordinate, it's pretty hard to come out on top, regardless of the issue. In
line with my personality, my next response was to simply clam up. If I couldn't
get my opinion across, I wasn't going to make waves, and I didn't want to sound
like an ungrateful wuss, so I wasn't going to say anything to him if I didn't
have to. That went over about as well as you'd expect, and things didn't
improve. I worried that I would be targeted for termination or punishment, and was
pretty stressed out just going to work. That next weekend off, I tore my ACL in
an alumni basketball tournament. It was a curse financially, but a blessing in
disguise just getting away from work.
My left knee has given me issues since training for
Iraq in Camp Shelby Mississippi back in 2006.
I spun around in the barracks and ended up on the floor. The more I
learn about my body, I think I actually did something to my hip, which caused
strain in the ligaments and tendons around my knee. At no time did my knee
actually feel bad, but the tendons/ligaments in the back of my leg. After
several doctor visits, I'd received a cortisone shot in December of 2013, and
felt pretty darn good. The orders from the doctor had been to, strengthen [my]
knee, whatever that meant.
I started out the year on a physical mission. I was
going to strengthen my legs so much that my knee wouldn't have any excuses, and
lose a few pounds above my waist to help out. Unfortunately, I had no clue how
to 'strengthen my knee'. I worked out 4 days a week, doing as many leg curls
and extensions as I could, often working my legs until I could barely walk. Rarely
did I experience muscle soreness the day after working out, and I'm not gonna
lie, my legs looked pretty darn good.
OK, back to the torn ACL. My year's team was going
it's 'normal' alumni performance the past few years, not trying real hard
despite having some pretty darn good athletes. I decided not to wear my brace
because of that cortisone shot making my knee feel good, though it may not have
made much of a difference. Somehow during the second game we'd gotten a pretty
quick break and they tossed me the ball a few steps outside the 3-point line. I
got the ball in stride, took a dribble and pulled up for the shot. *Swoosh*, it
went in nothing but net, we were going to make a comeback!
Unfortunately for me, I didn't land right. My left
leg took an extra stutter step, then collapsed outward against my problematic
hamstring. I felt the pop before I hit the floor and knew it wasn't just a
strain. It took people a few seconds to realize I was hurt because they were
all watching the ball. I mean, a 300-pound non-basketball player just drained a
'3' like it was hot. By the time anyone noticed, I was already dragging myself
to the sideline and our bench, which was thankfully not across the court. I have some really awesome classmates. They got me some ice right away, and helped pull
my truck up closer to the school so that I could hop on my good leg to it. Some
people can walk on a torn ACL, but that issue with my hamstring made that not
possible for me. I couldn't put any weight on it, regardless of the position of
my knee.
First, I let my parents know what had happened. I'm
remodeling a house, and that would be on hold for a while. I was supposed to
work the next 5 days, as well, with the first shift being an OT shift (read big
money). I had to call work and let them know that I'd be missing that OT shift
the very next day, and at least the day after that while I went to the doctor. I
ended up missing just a few more than that.
I'd bought $200 worth of home supplies the day
before, as well, if missing work wasn't enough. I ended up getting confirmation
on my birthday that I'd torn my ACL, and purchased crutches of my own that were
tall enough. I was supposed to be in a friend's wedding in a month, and I was
planning work days on my house. A lot would be changing.
How you deal with change is more important than the
change itself. Being joyful through trials is hard to say, and even harder to
accomplish. Not just being happy, but joyful and trusting that God has a plan. It's
easy to look back now and see it, but at the time, I was just relieved that the
stress from work was off the front burner.
A few scriptures that
have been on my mind a lot the past few months have to do with this very topic.
Romans 5: 1-5
Therefore, since we have
been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what
Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought
us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently
and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. We can rejoice, too, when we
run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help
us learn to endure and endurance develops strength of character in us, and
character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation
will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has
given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.
Hebrews 12: 1-9(which
quotes Proverbs 3:10,11)
Therefore, since we are
surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip
off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders
our progress. And let us run with
endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes
on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die
a shameful death on the cross because of the joy He knew would be His
afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor besides God's throne
in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible
things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up. After all, you have
not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin. And have you entirely
forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, His children? He said
"My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you and don't be discouraged
when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and punishes
those he accepts as His children." As you endure this divine discipline,
remember that God is treating you as his own Children. Whoever heard of a child
who was never disciplined? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children,
it means you are illegitimate and you are not really His children after all. Since
we respect our earthly fathers who disciplined us, should we not all the more cheerfully
submit to the discipline of our heavenly father and live forever.
